lie here

u r worse than me.

The other side may be greener

i wanna save you.

you have the right to but you have been taught never to. get out of it.

open up like how you opened your mind SO BIG to judge me. do it now. it's for your own good. you then judge.

save yourself. it's more important than anything else in this world.

you're my everything.

i wish you would.

not for me, for yourself.

with all my heart, you know i do.

So God help you, and me, for us.

The rest is up to you. I've done it, why can't you?

I'm sad i'm not happy

i'm not happy. it's been a long time since i've not felt happy and i guess it's gonna drag on.

i did everything i could to try to be happy and make other happy too.

maybe it'll never be enough.

but at least i can sleep peacefully knowing i've tried and made the effort. i can't do EVERYTHING can i? i'd be God if i could.

A vs B

This is battle between A & B. Something to ponder about.

A is born.

B is born X amount of years after A.

B succeeds A and overrules A's authenticity.

B does not have written or any prove A is false. It takes away A's authority. Only based on B that everything is related to B considers A false.

A has prove of it's authenticity. B does not but chooses to rely solely on words A ia fake.

If that is a way an absolute can be overruled what is to keep C coming in X amount of years and over ruling B? What happens then?

I'm only human and i only question what is questionable to what is claimed non questionable. Don't punish me for that. I'm looking for someone who can give me a solid answer. If it's not possible then there must be something wrong somewhere.

Btw a kid should start with an ABC book instead of a novel right? :) Learn with me. And we'll be happy.

Blue black eye

I'm losing it. I've got no interest anymore.

I used to be this cheerful person. Noisy and silly. Happy and jolly. Chirpy and funny.
Things have made me change. I'm becoming someone else. I'm disturbed, everyday.

My mind is not at ease. Never is for a long time recently. I love sleeping but i can't get any these nights.

I'm a beggar emotionally. I crave for that special touch. It's right in front of me but it doesn't come.

I've got too much on my plate. To deal with the past, to live with the present and to take care of the future. I can't do it alone. It takes teamwork, from every department. I need your help in this. And you're not helping much.

I know what i am. I'm ME. And there's no one like ME out there. Never.

Of Support and Undermine

I remember when i first got my bicycle. I didn't want it. I wanted a tricycle. I was being lazy and afraid of riding something i had to support myself without help.

My mom was great. She told me i gotta learn first be cause eventually I AM gonna use a bicycle. She made me learn. Being all cranky like any other kid my age would i asked her thousands of times the same question everyday " why don't you get me a tricyle? all i want is a tricyle, not a bicycle!"

She still was patient with me until the day i managed to ride it on my own. She never once gave up on me for asking questions. She was and is always there to support me, even with all silly questions.

I learned a great lesson. Only your mom will take these questions and the next day still accept you for who you are.

Others will push you away. They'll tell you you're a waste of time. They'll hurt you for having questions. No one will ever have your back when you start to question what they think should not be questioned. They will NEVER be patient and supportive. I've learned that and it breaks my little cute heart.

No one's really got my back.

The man with the plan

How come i don't see any British looking people?

I was at Anfield last weekend. Sure was a good trip but i actually expected Anfield to look exactly like what i've been watching on TV. Oh well, nvm.

Rafa my man. I don't know what you have up your sleeves but i'm sure it's working. Liverpool is on a roll ma man. And the plan is of course to be the EPL champions this season.

Like them i also have a plan. If going to Penang takes 3hours, i'm like just 1 hour away. Not that far. In fact im so close. But i don't wanna rush to it cause it's kind of long term. Very long term. Almost for life. Not safe to speed to your destination right? Slow and steady will do. Besides the highway to Penang has many interesting views to offer so i'll take my time. (no the plan is not to head to Penang! duh.)

Anyways it takes 11 men for Rafa to execute his plan. I on the other hand need only 3 different set of hands and a WHOLE LOT of dough! Those hands are;

- my long time primary mate Arip bin Dalip. It rhymes with his grandpa's name. Lol. Haha love it when i call him that

- the one with the uniform

- the one with the recipe of course!

Tensed at moments but i think i'll get through it perfectly. Cool stuff.

If Rafa can do it, i can do it too. This season Liverpool and i will win.

We'll Never Walk Alone.

-y do i suddenly feel uneasy again?-